Ring out the bells again
Like we did when spring began.

Yo.

I usually don't say yo in my blog, but today I felt like starting it this way.

In my last post I said that I will come back again when I get my results but I didn't.

And now, I'm already almost 2 months into school.

Nanyang Junior College. By a stroke of luck. Managed to get into this school with the effort that I put in. Should I feel guilty? Maybe. But then again, who can criticize the amount of effort I put in, given my already procrastination ability? So let's just say, I got lucky this time. But I don't really wish to say that. Because I know I did my part of hard work as well.

So I got my results that day, then I went to select my school because I didn't really had much choice. And I awaited the results until 26th of January where they sent me an SMS to tell me which school I have been posted to, and the next day I reported to school.

Orientation was fun. And so was school. HAHAHA. No.

I like the new lecture and tutorial system. It makes time pass very quickly. Then again, the difficulty of the subject remains, or rather, has increased.

I wanted to try something new, so I took literature. Oh in any case, my score didn't allow me to take PCME H2 anyway. Then again, I don't think I will be able to cope with that. I hope science is out of my life soon. I really am not interested in them, which leads to doing badly in them.

Oh, I am learning Tennis. My cca actually. But I haven't attended a single tennis training. Partly because I am not playing in A div this year, and partly because, oh well like what they say, the holocaust. It doesn't help when the others play much better than you. But they are quite nice people actually. The coach, he is a badass. He has got the skills, okay. But coaching wise, I question his ability and commitment. Whatever the case, I hope by the end of this 2 ( or perhaps 3 ) years, I can play tennis better than an average person does.

I'm supposed to sleep at 12am for my JC life. It's 1:33am now, which is not very good because I will lack sleep. So goodbye, see you next time.

I'm back.

Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year to everyone.

Although it's already 3rd January today. There's no new year feeling though. Probably because it's the first time that I don't have to report back to school on 4th January or something.

December was nothing great. I found a job which sucks and I'm planning to quit it soon. It takes up so much of my life. It made me lose my life for December. But I'm glad I took some days off here and there to actually enjoy out with my friends. I really can't imagine working there everyday with such hours. Nuts.

I heard O level results will be released on 10th January 2011. That's pretty fast, like a week away or so. Someone once told me ' hope you smile 10 days into 2011. ' I would really like to think that I will. I hope. No point saying anything about regrets, though I think I gave mu 80% for O levels. Where the other 20% went I don't know and it probably will never come back. So I only have myself to blame if I really don't do well for the O levels. And you.

I prefer blogging after a long period of time, so that I won't encounter situations like now, where I pretty much can't think of anything to say. Perhaps I'll come back when I get my results, to do some updates. And hopefully, some positive ones.

Goodbye and see you around.

Hi.

It's been long. The last post was like, September I guess.

So the Big O's is finally over. I don't know how I did, and I don't really want to know yet. I just hope on the 16th( or is it some other day ) of January 2011, when I get my results, and if there's a need for tears to flow, I do hope I'll probably shed tears of happiness and relief rather than tears of regret and disappointment.

Holidays hasn't been doing well. Pretty boring staying at home almost every other day, save for the 10pm-2am time where I actually play some game. Other than that, I don't really know how I pass my days. I went for a job interview and hopefully I will get it.

Talking about getting stuff, some days ago I just got rejected again. :(

That's pretty sad, isn't it?

Rejection of what? I don't really want to say it but I guess many would know. Something which I've yearned for since the start of time. Okay not really, more like since the day when I lost it. Sad, sad day of my life. And well and truly one of the things I'll probably regret the most in my life, even after ten years down the road.

I hate how people like to tell me 'Cherish what you have, before it's gone, or you'll regret it ' or some sort of things like that. I mean come on, if you want me to cherish it, let me have it first. I want to cherish it, but I don't have it. What do I do? And before I realize it, it's already gone. When that happens, let me tell you that nobody can have the rights to say ' See, you are regretting it now ' , because I didn't even get a chance to cherish it in the very first place. And as for some who can only tell me ' Too bad. ' , go to hell. And I hope you go to one with cigarettes but no lighter. Too bad? It's not as if we humans are born to know how to handle everything that comes our way. If I made a mistake while handling something, give me one more chance. Some people have no rights for a second chance, because they waste their chances over and over again, betraying other's trust in them time and time again. I don't think I did that. Not even near that. And yet I am deprived of a second chance just because I did not handle it well when presented to me. Even with the intention to repent and change for the better, some people just won't spare you. Yes that's how the world works.

I think my life has changed dramatically in secondary four. All sorts of things happening, albeit good, the negative side often overshadows the good ones. In conclusion, bad things have been happening to me in secondary four. But I can't really bear to bring myself to say that, because there were good times too. Oh man I am contradicting myself. Let's just say some things happened this year which will be etched in my memory for as long as I live. Sometimes I wish I could just forget about them. Then, I'll probably be a happier person, like how I was during Secondary 1 to 3. Those were the days when my mind was free from grudges and hatred, and I was as carefree as anything. I didn't need to think so much into other people's words and actions, and there was not a need to be avoiding and having awkward moments with people in school. Everyone around me was just another person whom I would probably say hi to and remember who you are, at least for a while. For some, I would probably have a better relationship with you due to factors such as CCA, classmates etc. While for others, I'll probably remember you all my life due to various reasons. Be it for good or for bad, be glad that I'll remember you. Because I don't really like to remember stuff. And if I can remember you, it's a privilege. Of course you would hope to be remembered for the good stuff. Too bad for some, you are destined to be remembered otherwise.

Nevertheless, I'm going to leave this school soon. Or rather, I've already left the school. Some people whom I've met during this past 4 years, I'll probably never see you again. For some, I may just randomly see you on the streets. For some, we may go out together again as a class or something. And as for some again, we'll probably meet again in the same school next year or something. Regardless of what, I'm just glad that it's all over. Yes it's all over. I'll never want to go back to that predicament again. I haven't said goodbye to many of my friends, but at least I myself know, it's not the last goodbye, at least to some.

Goodbye, see you around someday, perhaps.

Hi.

It's been long. I can't remember when the last post was published. Was it 3 weeks ago or something? Doesn't matter anyway.

Preliminaries are here. So far, so bad. Really. I think the worst was Physics. I'm sorry Mdm Tey, but it was really tough. Or maybe I just didn't put enough efforts into Physics. And the paper 1's gonna come later. Even if I get full marks for it I don't think it can salvage much.

Life has been about studying. I don't really like to say I studied very hard. Because I usually don't do very well. Even though if I really studied very hard and still did badly, well that happens often. Physics paper 1 and Elementary Mathematics paper 1 later on. They are supposed to be easy for many people. Not really for me. Nothing has ever been easy ever since I came to Anderson Secondary School.

But I have to say, Anderson is an excellent school. I wouldn't mind staying there for another few more years. I meant Anderson as a school. Not really pinpointing to any specific objects in school.

I'm supposed to be doing my revision right now. Goodbye.

Hi.

Last post published on 24th December 2009. That was pretty long ago.

Back then, life was so much better. I liked school a lot. I enjoy seeing my friends and having fun with them. I didn't do well in my studies but that didn't really mattered to me. In a class called 4/3'09, though I don't have many friends in there, I did try to make the best of my time there. I feel I did it last year. As for this year, school has been full of ups and downs. Terrible times engulfed me repeatedly, while at the same time I felt a sense of hatred towards people that I've never experienced before. When I say towards people, I meant a bunch of them. I hated them. At one point of time I wished I wouldn't see them again in my life. But, such is the significance of some people, that you really cannot bear to let that phenomenon happen between you and them. However, as for some people, they can just sit in one corner, and perhaps with a mirror, search through his/her soul and do some self reflection both mentally and literally. I really don't want to praise myself, but from the way I handled the situation and my reaction towards it, I really think I was too nice. Stupidly nice, to say the least. I cannot believe humans can actually behave that way, disregarding the feeling of another human being totally. Perhaps they aren't human. Okay they are human, but maybe human without a heart, and without a mind of where the fine line of limits must be drawn.

And all this happened this year. Not last year. I mentioned I enjoyed school a lot last year. In fact, I enjoyed school from sec 1 to sec 3. I never had any problems or times significant enough to make me feel troubled, other than the occasional worries about studies. But I always pull through in the end, albeit barely.

Start of this year wasn't bad. Was looking forward to a cool 2010. But it didn't turn out the way I wanted it to be. In fact, I can rate it as the worst in 16 years of living on this ball called Earth. Sometimes I wish I could suffer a memory loss or something, so that I can forget all the sufferings that I felt in the past, and perhaps lose my hatred towards people as well. I can start anew. I won't dwell on what you did to me in the past, because I've lost it all. If I see you with my new set of memory, and you give me a good impression, I'll like you. That simple. Too bad it wasn't meant to be. You just made me develop that series of mindset towards you. As for how long it lasted, I don't know. I just know it won't change that easily.

As for other people around me, they are actually pretty cool. I found myself belonging to nowhere in the class. My source of friends are outside of the classroom. Plus, staying in that classroom causes me to have intentional desire to do some things, which wouldn't be nice if I say it out here. Gerald's beside me, he's a good one. Or maybe that's only because he sits beside me. If it were to be some other person, I doubt I'd enjoy the class as much. No wait, I don't even enjoy it. I used to though. Last year, 3/3'09 was almost comparable to my sec 1 and 2 class. Now, I can safely say that this is the class I dislike the most. I don't care if anyone of you in the class dislike me as well, I don't live to please you. You all don't live to please me too; I have no complains. I just dislike it. As far as I'm concerned, I haven't done anything to garner that sense of hatred from someone, so I don't know what's wrong if you want to hate me. Relating to that statement, some people did let me garner that sense of hatred. I applaud those people for it. You allowed me to have an experience and feeling that I've never felt in my life before.

Hmm I've been expressing lots of hatred for 25 minutes. I guess I should post about some good stuff to balance things out. Where should I start from? Oh I went to Camerons Highland during March. But I like my blog as a place where I express my thoughts, so I wouldn't want to post anything such as what I did there or etc. It was a good experience. One that I would relive again if given the chance to. Other than that I can't really find anything about this year that I enjoyed. Well actually I have some but I don't feel like posting it here.

My birthday was just over 10 days ago. Where are all my presents people?

Anyway it's 1am now. I like night times. 10pm, you get the feeling it's still early in the night. 11pm, you feel the night darkening as midnight is about to approach. 12am, you see the date change and you know it's the start of a new day. 1am, you feel that it's getting pretty late, and maybe you have plans to sleep soon. 2am, deep in the middle of the night, it's dark and lonely. Almost nobody's online. 3am, you get the feeling dawn is approaching, but it's still dark and lonely in the night. 4am, dawn will approach soon. You have plans to sleep but you may need to wake up early later. You chose to not sleep. 5am, dawn is dawning nearer, birds start chirping, alarms start ringing around the neighbourhood. You see the twilight dawn feeling in the sky, as clouds begin tho form. 6am, you perhaps see your family members waking up, and you look out of the window, you see people on the streets starting out their lives 6 hours into the day. At 7am, you may go to school, or you may sleep. From 8am onwards, I don't know a thing because I'd either be in school or be asleep.

Oh I actually like waking up in the wee hours of the morning like 7 am or something in the weekend, going to the toilet for a pee, and going back to sleep. I think that's satisfying.

Anyway I like the period of 10-2am. From 2am onwards, the world starts to get lonely, and you start to feel alone. On some weekends, I can't really explain how 1am-7am flew without me knowing even though I was conscious, but I know I will go to sleep because, well, people say you need sleep to grow.

Speaking about growing, I haven't been growing. Damn. I meant vertically. Maybe I've put on a few kilograms but that's beside the point.

Oh, preliminaries is coming in less than a week. That's pretty scary. It signifies that O levels is coming soon too.

They also signify that school is coming to an end soon, after 4 years.

Sigh.

Hi.

I haven't been here for long. It's christmas already.

Merry christmas everyone!

School is starting soon and I haven't done much work. Die.

I don't know what to blog about right now. I think I'm going to Angela's house for lunch later. Maybe there's a turkey there or something.

Talking about turkey, I haven't eaten one in like, 4 years. The last time I ate, I went to a friend's house for christmas too.

I'm not really a fan of turkey anyway. I prefer Australia.

Yes.

It's getting late. School is starting soon.

School is starting soon. Have I mentioned it already?

School is starting soon, really. Need to do work.

“I’ve missed more than 9000 shots in my career. I’ve lost almost 300 games. 26 times, I’ve been trusted to take the game winning shot and missed. I’ve failed over and over and over again in my life. And that is why I succeed. "

Quote by Michael Jordan.

He must have been a fan of Dragonball-Z.



I was talking about the over 9000 part.

Nabei I cannot get my harpy mouse. Cannot get = cannot move on.

I just saw Weixin online woohoo.

But it's late at night. Weird.

Ohh, I just remembered some things to look forward to. Got 2/4 and 3/3 chalet. Woohoo. And council camp. Hahaha.

Then after that, there's mastery test for like 6 subjects. Walao.

Then school reopen, happy new year!

Oh before that, there's Christmas. Looks like the celebration in Singapore isn't that good. I see people celebrating Christmas like mad over in other countries.

Maybe because there's snow there.

I watched all of Jack Neo's movie these few days lol. Oh, except for Money no Enough. I never watched that before. Wait till I got no enough money, then go watch.

Then I realized many of Simple plan's song reach out to teenagers like assss(us). Mhmm, perfect, welcome to my life, crazy. Cool.

Rich guys driving big SUVs, while kids are dying in the streets, no one cares, no one likes to share.

I'm waiting for 4:20 so that I can see whether I can get harpy and leave the lagoon lol.

I haven't seen many people during the holidays. Wonder if they have grown shorter.

Actually it's only a month plus. But it feels like it has been so long.

Sian. 4:20 and no mouse.

I am leaving soon. I will get my harpy when I come back!

EH actually no, I believe that I will be able to get it before I leave. Now that's a goal.

Hello.

It's December already. SO FAST!

Hi.

Although I watched the movie quite a few days ago today I just found the song.



Brother my brother
Tell me what are fighting for
We've got to end this war
We should love one another
Oh, can't we just pretend
This war never began
We can try
Brother my brother

We face each other from different sides
The anger burns can't remember why
It's kind of crazy to cause so much pain
Our foolish pride makes us hate this way

We watch our world fall apart
Tell me what good is winning
When you lose your heart

Brother my brother
Tell me what are fighting for
Isn't life worth so much more
We should love one another
Oh, can't we just pretend
This war never began
Tell me why
Brother my brother

Yes
We can try
Brother my brother
Yes

Let's take a moment to look deep inside
and say we're willing to give love a try
we're not as different as we seem to be
there's so much more to me than what you see

It don't have to be this way
Think about the consequences
then turn around and walk away

Brother my brother
Tell me what are fighting for
Isn't life worth so much more
We should love one another
Oh, can't we just pretend
This war never began
Tell me why
Brother my brother

Brother my brother
Tell me what are fighting for
Isn't life worth so much more
We should love one another
Oh, can't we just pretend
This war never began
Tell me why
Brother my brother

The song.

Brother, my brother.

By Blessid Union of Souls. Weird band name.

Hey friends, what do we fight for? It's fate that we get to be friends in this life, so let's treasure it. There are so many people in this world, and you, some of you, happen to be my friend. It's a feat. Not easy for us to be friends. We survived for 13 years, went through primary school, entered the same school, and got into the same class. We've been through so much to be friends, so let's treasure our friendship.

And people normally tend to regret only when they lose that certain thing.

I was watching Pokemon the first movie, Mewtwo strikes back.

I think this part is the best of the show.



Mewtwo is going. Where my heart can learn what yours know so well. What transpired here, I will always remember. But perhaps for you, these events are best forgotten.

Mewtwo, taken aback by Ash's act of selflessness to save all the Pokémon, has an epiphany over the relationship between humans and Pokémon, and realizes that the circumstances of how one is born should not be allowed to divide anyone.

Welcome to my life.

This song describes my life. That's a big crowd by the way.



Do you ever feel like breaking down?
Do you ever feel out of place?
Like somehow you just don't belong
And no one understands you

Do you ever wanna run away?
Do you lock yourself in your room?
With the radio on turned up so loud
That no one hears you screaming

No you don't know what its like
When nothing feels alright
You don't know what it's like to be like me

To be hurt
To feel lost
To be left out in the dark
To be kicked
When youre down
To feel like you've been pushed around
To be on the edge of breaking down
And no one's there to save you
No you don't know what it's like

Welcome to my life

Do you wanna be somebody else?
Are you sick of feeling so left out?
Are you desperate to find something more
Before your life is over?

Are you stuck inside a world you hate?
Are you sick of everyone around?
With the big fake smiles and stupid lies
While deep inside you're bleeding

No you don't know what its like
When nothing feels alright
You dont know what it's like to be like me

To be hurt
To feel lost
To be left out in the dark
To be kicked
When youre down
To feel like you've been pushed around
To be on the edge of breaking down
And no ones there to save you
No you dont know what it's like

Welcome to my life

No one ever lied straight to your face
And no one ever stabbed you in the back
You might think I'm happy
But I'm not gonna be okay!

Everybody always gave you what you wanted
You never had to work it was always there
You dont know what it's like
What it's like!

To be hurt
To feel lost
To be left out in the dark
To be kicked
When you're down
To feel like you've been pushed around
To be on the edge of breaking down
And no one's there to save you
No you dont know what it's like (what it's like)

To be hurt
To feel lost
To be left out in the dark
To be kicked
When you're down
To feel like you've been pushed around
To be on the edge of breaking down
And no one's there to save you
No you don't know what it's like

Welcome to my life

Welcome to my life

Welcome to my life

Hello.

I don't know why, but the fact that there's extra lessons tomorrow is better than the fact that it's a normal school day tomorrow.

Maybe it's the atmosphere and mood.

I like Save you and Wake me up when september ends. They are nice songs. Songs with meanings. I can listen to just these 2 songs all day long.

I haven't been blogging for a long while, so I have forgotten many events. But, I have mentioned before that I won't blog so much about daily life, so meh.

Got Physics SPA on 4th November and O level chinese on. Was it 10th or 11th of November.

Sounds quite cool. It's been quite long since I took a national exam. Other than SPAs.

The last time I remember taking national exam, PSLE. I could finish a paper and be happy after comparing answers because I know I got many correct answers. And I never had the fear of failing, and had the confidence of getting A everytime.

Then now, I will finish a paper and be quiet about it because I know there are many wrong answers. And I have to fear failing many papers most of the time.

Is there a song about failure in studying? If there is I might take a liking to it. It shouts ME.

I've got no plans for holidays yet. And I don't know whether I will have any. It's boring. But when there's school, we complain as well.

Oh well.

^ The above was typed during one Save you song.

Now it's wake me up when september ends.

Oh did I mention how fast this year passed. Like how Billie Joe sings, " Like my father's come to pass, 20 years has gone so fast. "

Not the father's part though. And not the 20 years.

Only the gone so fast. 10 months has gone so fast. It's November now. November is good. I like November, December, June, September, August. For some reason.

Now I don't know what to say. I had a lot on my mind just now. But they are gone.

Oh. Steamboat with some of 2/4 on Saturday. It wasn't so nice. I would prefer Seoul Garden.

And my idol is Tre cool, not Billie Joe. Although he's fine too.

^ Wake me up when september ends ended.

And Gerard Way doesn't sound good live. I prefer his music in the recorded studio.

This year hasn't end yet. On 31st of December, I will post a reflection about year 2009. I think it's cool. Then I can keep a record every year.

Then before you know it, it's 2010. And horns will sound everywhere. Happy New Year.

I still remember who sent me what Happy New Year message for 2009. That's how fast this year is.

I remember Timothy sending at 11+ because he was afraid that at 12am the line will be jammed.

Then I stayed cool and sent at 12am but some only received at 1. Not cool after all.

I wish to clarify something. That I don't like anyone. So please don't come and tell me " Eh you like wingyiu! " or " Eh you like Weixin! " because I hear it many times.

Take care not to irritate people. Not saying that I will be. I won't be. Really. I am magnanimous. <(Cool I spelt it correctly). But I don't know about them. So no. I wouldn't want them to treat me differently from others because of it.

I still want to hear some Weixin jokes. Although they get old sometimes.

It's getting late here. Or should I say it's getting early. I think it's time to say goodbye to this world, for a while.

Take note that this is not an emo post; don't come in with all the comments. It's just personal thoughts in the middle of the night.

Right. I should be going. Maybe to play some games, or just fall into a slumber.

Till then, farewell.

Hi.

I like wake me up when september ends.



Don't know why got couple. It's supposed to be about his father having cancer. Then the video is about war. But never mind. Got my idol in there. Hahaha.

Eh you wanna know my results? Suck balls one. But never mind. I will just post. I always post.

Let's see. From what I can remember.

The English, paper 1 41/60, paper 2 16/25 and 17/25.
The Higher Chinese, compo 39.5/70, letter 11.5/20, paper 2 48/110.
The Emaths, 40/79.
The Amaths, 23/80.
The Chemistry, 39/100.
The Physics, 47/100.
The Geography, 66/100.
The Combined humanities, 44/100.
The Express Chinese, compo 30/50, letter 11.5/20, paper 2 49/70.

That's for SA2 alone only. Haven't get pulled down by other terms.

Let's see my L1R5 from SA2.

English 69/100. B3
Higher Chinese 53/100. C6
Emaths 51/100. C6
Amaths 29/100. F9
Physics 47/100. D7
Chemistry 39/100. F9
Geography 66/100. B3
Combined Humanities 44/100. E8.

Walao, like 33. I can't go any shit.

Then I heard I'm in the top few diamond list. Whoo. I need polishing.

Then these few days the chinese extra lessons so boring. They even take up the Arts Fest time.

But never mind. School is ending soon. I guess I was very lucky this year, to make it through.

Hi.

So the day has come. Where we will get back our results.

I'm actually quite excited. Although I can roughly guess.

Sian excited until I feel salty.

I cannot go sleep now.

Because if I sleep, then I know it will happen soon.

If I don't, it's cold, but, at least I know it's not coming yet.

Sian I feel disgusted at the thought of getting results.

I just told my parents that I am failing many subjects.

Then,

Eh bullshit la wth today they went through Chemistry MCQ then I failed then the Physics I did the bucket of water question they say good luck to us I didn't really need it because I left 90% blank then the English comprehension got so many questions I thought would be correct in the end turn out wrong wth sia then Geography like never give examples then only like L2 something.

Then history I was listening to music.

And tomorrow they are going through Amaths Emaths SS and Chinese paper.

Wth. Hahaha. Why like so many fail.

They had promotion exercise today. I hope they see my name and then ' MHMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM CAN LA THIS PERSON. '

Please don't come and flame me and say ' Mdm Neo say you won't retain already la! '

I don't get how she can say that when I don't know what I passed.

You know, she likes Geography. And she told me I passed it. Maybe that's why she said it.

But never mind, we'll all know on Monday.

Hi.

They say that tomorrow will be a better day.

Sometimes, it's true. Sometimes, it isn't.

I am still awaiting next week. Then I will know whether it will happen.



Save me. :(

Hi again. I am back.

So the SA2's finally over. I have to sit back and await my results.

During the past 2 years, when SA2 was done, I didn't need to worry about a thing because however difficult it was I always managed to pass everything.

But this time it's different.

I have to await my results in fear, for it may lead to my demise.

Hi.

30 days ago I remember I wrote ' Wake me up when september ends '.

So now it's all ending soon. As my memory rests, 1 month has gone so fast. Wake me up when september ends.

There's actually 23 more hours to the end of the beautiful month of September.

And when October arrives, ring out the bells again, like we did when spring began.

Hi.

I suddenly felt like blogging when the part which goes ' If it takes you forever ' came while I was listening to save you.

That sentence seemed pretty cool and nice.

Anyway I am doing my geography revision now haha. Because I don't want to get retained.

But then there's still chemistry, physics, amaths, emaths. Sian. Haha.

Those are the scary ones.

I had the scary thought of what to do after SA2. Enjoy life, and no revising. Haha. That's why I should revise now, if not when SA2 is over then there's no more use.

Unless you are talking about sec 4.

I must still see whether I can get through to sec 4. Haha.